#plus a bunch of other books which probably grabbed my attention to its fullest
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hesitantlyhopefulspren · 1 year ago
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Sorry for the odd question:
Do you have a favourite book?
Normal question I think.
But difficult to answer.
RAMBLED A LOT, REALISED ANSWER IS NO. But. I can't delete the ramble.
To start with. Since I was a kid I devoted myself to hp. Went along with a few comics (Asterix, Tintin, Geronimo Stilton ✌🏾). Jk Rowling stuff made me crash and stop reading for a while. Because. I'd put a lot of eggs into that basket, and suddenly the basket made me feel incredibly bad carrying it.
Started thinking more about the reasons I want to care about books.
Always have a soft spot for magnus chase series because made me realise I'm bi. Rick Riordan books are good in general.
Love artemis fowl.
Read bunch of the fantasy books. Tried out sci-fi, classics, thrillers, mystery, wasn't too interested. Liked hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy a lot, though I didn't understand a lot then.
Hunger games, lotr, bunch of standalone books as I started to realise there are good non-fantasy books which are not a series.
Then stopped reading since lockdown started.
THEN started reading again towards end of 2021. Starting with Cosmere.
Stormlight archive is more of a favourite than other Cosmere books, because kaladin. Also extremely good mental art from that whole series. Also plenty of fanart.
Good omens.
Recently started Discworld, finished guards! Guards! yesterday. have to actively force myself to stop reading because I know i have work. BUT ITS GREAT and I'm loving it. And I'll start Earthsea at some point. So.
Yeah. Which is a lot to say that I don't have a favourite. Different books occupy different shelves in my heart because they ended up being what I needed at the right times, I think.
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fizzypunks · 4 years ago
Text
its a date but its not a date
fandom: My Hero Academia/ Boku No Hero Academia word count: 3.8k/oneshot rating: t summary: hizashi takes shouta to a little festival and insists its not a date... just pure fluff bc <3
ship: Aizawa Shouta/ Hizashi Yamada | Erasermic
note: this reads better in AO3 because it keeps formatting for italics, which tumblr does not!
AO3
___
Yamada Hizashi wasn’t a timid person – it wasn’t even a quirk thing, it was just his nature, and it was something he was proud of. Sure, he’d been called loud and obnoxious, and some have been less than kind about his quirk when it’s gotten out of control. His quirk control wasn’t great for a very long time, but none of what he’d been called or heard had really changed the way he carries himself, and that  includes  his extroverted nature.
 He was, however, a panicked person, when it came to matters of  interest .
 Love. 
  Whatever .
 And, because love was the one thing that made him think twice about what he says, what he does or doesn’t do, that has landed him in the exact predicament that he’s facing right now.
 Hizashi tapped his pen against his essay, the half filled pages of his stationary blurring together into a mass of lines and half-assed penmanship. He’d been staring at it for the past five minutes, when he’d given up on trying to ignore his annoying problem.
  Shouta .
 It’s been getting harder to ignore the stupid pull of something he’s recently identified as  yearning  that comes every time he thinks of his best friend. Stronger than any hurricane gale, it pulls in every thought he has until there are no more to be had. Just Shouta, and his messy hair, and the eyes he thinks are pretty despite always being so blood-shot.
 Hizashi groans, faintly feeling heat spill across his cheeks. “God, why must I be so fucked?”
It’s not like he’s even asking him out on a  date  – no, he’s not bold enough to do that in their last year  and semester of school– there’s no need for distractions like that right now, whatever outcome may or may not come from it…. no, he’s just asking to take Shouta to the Autumn festival at the park, because Shouta should do something fun and get out of his room and not explode from stress.
 The poor guy has been spending all his time studying and stressing and sleeping even  less , so of course Hizashi would want to help his friend out and get him to relax.
 Yeah, that’s what it was – one friend asking another friend out because stress is bad.
 That doesn’t change the nervous skip in his heart right now, as he sits at his desk and thinks about…
 Hizashi groans again, tipping back in his chair and hooking his foot against the back of his desk so that he’s less likely to tumble. Theoretically, at least.
 Why does it feel so  significant  right now? He’d asked Shouta to do countless things with him! He’d gotten him to agree to go to the movies a bunch of times, and to a party or two, and, most recently, he’d even been able to rope him into going to a karaoke club! He didn’t sing, they left earlier than he’d planned, but Shouta had fun!
 Hizashi narrowed his eyes at the white ceiling and the ceiling fan that whirled past his vision, playing with the very edge of the wooden panel that kept him from tumbling onto his carpet.
 This wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but somehow it did.
 It felt like a declaration, no matter how he phrased it in his head, and he doesn’t understand the logic behind it.
  Fine. Whatever! I’ll just ask, and be blunt, and do it right before I leave so there’s no room for thinking, and it’ll be okay! 
 Something like,  “Hey, Shouta, let’s go to this festival! It’ll be so much fun! PLUS, I think you’ll look cute sharing cocoa with me!”
 Hizashi’s eyes widened, his foot slipped in that one moment of lost focus, and he fell –
 “ Fuck!”
 It was a little too loud, bordering on quirk use, but he had other problems to think about beside  that .
 He rubbed the back of his head.
 “Man…”
 If he can’t even imagine it the right way… how was he supposed to  actually  ask? It would be pretty stupid to try when he knew he could act a little too carelessly and, potentially, damage the good friendship they had going on.It was probably better left un-asked.
 Unsaid, un-asked, and out of mind.
 ~
 It was most certainly not out of mind, that is clear.
 Shouta is sitting across from him, half-mast eyes scanning the copy of his English text book in a way that looked a lot more performative than informative. Their booth was tucked more toward the back of the cafe, and it would normally be a bit more secluded and quiet, but midterms brought students from the woodwork and into any coffee-scented establishment, which their happened to be.
  What great luck.
 All around them was the sound of machines grinding coffee, books being shifted around, and light conversation in between bouts of half-silences – and a heavy vale of constant movement that proved to be less than ideal for studying, despite all the students trying to do  just that .
 It was to be expected this time of year, but it was still enough to bother Shouta. He concentrated better with silence, and he happened to be struggling a lot more on English than he does on his other subjects.
 Hizashi, thankfully, understood the material enough for the both of them and then some, and already finished his homework – the papers in front of him were notes, ready to be explained the moment Shouta needed it, with hand-writing that was still pretty bad but…
 For Shouta, he’d made an effort. The result was somewhat-legible scribbles lining the papers, and when he referenced it, Shouta didn’t have to ask too many questions about,  “what is this right here?”
 “I’m not going to pass.”
 Hizashi turned his eyes to Shouta, like he hadn’t been trying to find a reason to look at him longer. He was wearing a big, thick red scarf, which his hair was somewhat tucked into. He didn’t look up, he just kept his eyes on his text book. His irises weren’t moving on the page.
 “Oh man, don’t say that! How’d you think you’re gonna pass if you don’t believe in yourself?”
 “It’s because I don’t believe in myself.”
 Hizashi grabbed his warm cocoa and took a sip, if only to busy his hands with  something . “Shouta! I don’t like this type of negativity!”
 “Well, you’ve chosen the wrong friendship then.”
 “Or, maybe, the  right one!”
 Shouta looked up, and Hizashi held his gaze. His eyes had been given a break over the past few days of written work, so the redness that often lined them was almost completely gone.
 His skin looked soft too…
 His hair, it was fluffy and cute, also..
 “Hizashi?”
 He’d been staring and not talking and he leaned back into his seat like a magnet to metal. He started laughing, holding his drink up to his face. “Well, maybe I can cheer you up! What are friends for, right? And maybe it will turn that attitude around, ya think?”
 “You’re not making any sense?”
 Hizashi hated that it was true but there’s no going back now – his mouth was ten steps ahead of him anyway, and not even  he  could stop it.
 He smiled widely at Shouta. “I mean, maybe I’m here to make sure you don’t stress yourself out so much! You always do so much but never  check  yourself, and I’m here to fix that!”
 Shouta huffed, head bobbing just a bit. Then he smirked and Hizashi had to concentrate on his breathing. “And how do you propose you’d do that?”
 Oh, it was so easy – this was the opportunity the  gods  gave him after seeing him fall on his ass just a few days before.
 Hizashi leaned forward, and set his elbows down on his notes, a hot cocoa between them. “One word.  Festival .”
 Shouta’s eyebrows quirked down just a bit, and he tilted his head to the side, his hair tilting with him. “Festival?”
 “What do ya say? The park next to my neighborhood has one this weekend, and it’s free, and there’s food, and I really wanna go!”
 Hizashi grew pink at the admission, fought against the urge to cover his mouth, but Shouta didn’t comment. 
 Then, a little surprisingly, instead of arguing or finding reasons why it wasn’t logical to take time away from studies so close to exams, he gave him a smile.
 A small, intentional,  Shouta  smile. “Sure.”
 Hizashi tried to not sound over-enthused – just nodded his head and almost squeezed his cup too hard. “Yes! I finally got you to agree to do something!”
 “You always get me to do things.”
 “Yes, and I did it again!”
 Shouta rolled his eyes, and turned his attention back down to the English he’d never really understand.
 ~
 Hizashi was certain he looked fine. He wasn’t sure if it was  great  , but it was probably fine, and  whatever.
 Beside, had many other things to worry about, that were a lot more important than whether or not his shirt matched his shoes. Like, for one, how he still couldn’t quite shake the feeling of  significance .
 It was back, that nagging intrusion into his thoughts that insisted that something was supposed to be different this time. As he looked over his outfit in his body mirror, pulling over his heavy, long jacket, he had to remind himself that there was nothing different about today. Even if he really, in his heart,  wanted  there to be something different. 
 Huh.
 So maybe the difference was the  amount of yearning – Hizashi sighed, thinking about his feelings last year and comparing them to now. 
 He huffed, a huge sigh finally making itself known.
 Yeah, the feelings he had now were bigger and grander than they’d been last year and they threatened to take over his life if he let them…
 Hizashi sighed, rubbed his hands over his face, and pushed his hair back only to reveal his pink, flustered expression to its fullest.
 “Sweet lord, have mercy on me! I am an idiot with a crush!”
 He collapsed onto his bed and waited out the last of the thirty minutes before Shouta was going to arrive at his door.
 ~
 Shouta knocked, and Hizashi was already ready – his heart doing flips like he’d never experienced, but oddly enough, it didn’t feel bad. It felt exciting, and loving, and when he opened the door to the crisp autumn air, it felt like  home .
  Stop that!
 Shouta, for all his questionable outfits, looked  nice . And he always looked nice, but now he was wearing black boots, and brown khakis that somehow sort of matched Hizashi’s own, and a black tee underneath a black jacket.
 He never went anywhere in the cold without a scarf, either, and today was no exception. A red variety  was ceremoniously draped around his neck, loose enough to not be covering his face.
 Hizashi tried not to beam, but felt the shape his eyes took at the other and knew it wasn’t working. “Ready?!” He asked, a little too loud.
 “Yes… you said it was close, right? At the park?”
 Hizashi nodded, stepping out and slipping his hand into a pocket to make sure he had his keys and wallet. Confirming quickly, he shut the door behind him, again, with a little too much enthusiasm.
 He was  buzzing . Some type of energy that he normally had built up in him, that he normally kept pretty good reins on, was taking over –
 He was so excited, but, even more – he was just  happy .
 He looked to Shouta, and smiled, and then led the way down his steps and onto the quiet street. The sky was clear, save for some cloud further down on the horizon. The trees were starting to make themselves barren, and the smell of wood burning fires started to break out as soon as the sun hit its peak.
 The neighborhood, secluded and at peace, was quiet, and Shouta walked beside him in comfort.
 Hizashi never struggled to say anything, and now is no different – except it is, when he thinks he’ll say something dumb like  “hey i like you so much, you make my world right, also I love you. ”
 He can’t say that. 
 But he really,  really wants to.
 He’s wanted to for years, and he’s almost said it more than once, and now he’s let the silence build around them…
 Shouta often takes mercy on him, and so he did it again this time. Their pace was slow and there was a little bit of space between them, and he sighs. “This is really nice.”
 Hizashi smiles, keeps his eyes on the road as it winds forward. “I’m glad you think so! We’ve stressed so much, it’s a good weekend getaway, don’t you think?”
 Shouta laughs – it’s more of a chuckle, but it’s a laugh where Shouta is concerned. “Yeah, you’re right. I needed this, a lot, I think…”
 They reach the corner, looking for cars that weren’t coming. The crest of trees a few blocks ahead could be seen above rooftops, and that’s where Hizashi fixes his gaze. “Me too,” he says softly, and leaves it at that because he’s always on the verge of  too  many words.
 “You seem really… energized.”
 Hizashi fumbles with his hands, pretending to warm them up and not like he’s nervous. “When am I not!”
 Shouta hums, and it’s so deep and close that it makes Hizashi wish he could just…
 But then Shouta reaches out, and grabs at the hands Hizashi is cradling in front of him, blunt and to the point. He takes Hizashi’s left hand and slots their fingers together in his right, and Hizashi knows he can feel the clamminess…
 He looks back, sputtering, his heart erratic, “Shou – wha– I’m –”
  Does he know this is messing with me?
 And Shouta, in that calm, stupid way he always carries himself, smiles. “Maybe that’s what I’m here for.”
 He squeezes their hands, and Hizashi must look confused because Shouta laughs.
 “You always try to bring me up, so I think I can help bring you calm… You seem nervous, so,” he looked at their hands, swung them just a bit for emphasis. “Calm.”
 Hizashi feels every bit of himself crumble, falls away like a cliff against a storm, and smiles because it’s all he can do. He blushes and he can feel how it spreads, and he doesn’t say anything because every sentence ends in  I love you .
 ~
 The festival was a pleasant and home-y affair, and after they’d gotten there, they’d learned that it was quite bigger than either of them anticipated. Though it was still a neighborhood one, hosted by the local families and park itself, it was still filled to every corner.
 They’d gotten there during the peak of the sun, but it quickly descended as they wove in and out of the scattered foot traffic. The air was crisper where the lake sat in the center of the park, and the trees casted half shadows around the food and merchant vendors.
 They were walking around for less than an hour before the lanterns and torches were starting to light around them.
 Shouta still held Hizashi’s hand, and once he’d accepted the lovely fact, he’d loosened up enough to feel like his mouth wasn’t going to get him into trouble.
 “Wow! Shou! Look!” He pointed out, across the deep blue lake, to the hovering lights that surrounded it. 
 Shouta hummed warmly. “It looks very nice.”
 Hizashi was still smiling, still enamored by the lights as they floated out across his vision – the way the cool air from the dipping sun brushed against his skin and somehow made all the warmth in him  that  much warmer.
 He quickly cast his eyes down to Shouta, and found him looking at him.
 Hizashi’s ears burned and he looked away really fast, heart thumping deep in the cage of his chest.
  Oh don’t you dare say it. Don’t you DARE.
 “Um…” He said softly, intentionally because otherwise his quirk might get the best of him – he didn’t know if he was embarrassed by his enthusiasm, or by the way Shouta was watching him, but it all went away when Shouta tugged them along the side of the lake.
 It’s a few more moments before Hizashi gathers up the right words to say – the ones that aren’t gushy and filled with emotions he’s certain Shouta wouldn’t reflect. 
 “So!” He starts, looking around now that they were near the cluster of food stands. The air was filled with burning wood, meat, sauce, alive with the sound of simmering and laughter. “Want food? My treat! We can’t walk away without trying everything at  least once!”
 “I didn’t know you were rich enough to do that.”
 Hizashi chuckled. “I’m serious, though. Whatever you want!”
 Hizashi ignored the eyes tilted his way, right before leading off to Hizashi’s right. Hizashi turns around enough to look at the little stand and it’s cloth menu.
 It was a takoyaki shop, with different bao, and there was no line. 
 Hizashi smiled, and it was his turn to tug Shouta forward. He couldn’t really  look  at him, not just yet any way, but he could hear the light lilt in his voice when he ordered from the kind eyed older man at the register. Hizashi made his order quickly, and paid, and they walked away with various stacks of food.
 It wasn’t even a question where they’d go, and they found a spot under a tree to sit with their food. 
 The grass was cut, and the little hill they sat on overlooked a great deal of the sprawling festival that surrounded them. Up here, the voices that surrounded them, the chatter, the laughter that Hizashi was not interested in, was duller – muted, and when Shouta hummed in hungry appreciation at his bao, it made his heart ache all the more.
 He snuck a look to his right, graced by the mercy of Shouta closing his eyes. He’d just taken a bite, had unravelled most of his scarf to do so, and was now enjoying it for all it’s worth.
 Hizashi’s eyes softened at the sight.
  God.
 And Shouta opened his eyes, in his direction like he just knew.
 Hizashi looked down and took his bao. “This looks good! I should eat like this more.”
 “You should take me to more festivals, too.”
 Hizashi choked a bit – he recovered fast, and cast a glance toward Shouta. “Sure thing!”
  This feeling... 
 Maybe this is what he had been feeling – the lead up to whatever moment this was. The way Shouta really took the time to look at him, not through him. Like he was paying attention.
 Maybe…
 Hizashi held his oversized bao in both hands and looked forward. It suddenly didn’t feel like such a bad idea to speak. To say whatever it was that he was going to say, because for Shouta, it would always be okay…
 Didn’t make him feel any more at ease, not with the stupid thought in his head that maybe he was misreading whatever today was. Who knows, maybe Shouta always paid attention to him like this? And sure, the hands thing… that was new, but maybe Shouta just really likes holding hands but he needs to be comfortable with the person, and now after three years he’s  finally comfortable with Hizashi?
  If you’re gonna say something…
 “Hey,” he started. 
  Say it now.
 “I’m having a really good time.”
 He doesn’t take his wide, blown-out eyes from the festival. It was dark enough that every lantern stood out like little stars, and the breeze was so nice…
 “If you want… we can, um, do this again. I’ll find another festival, but I can’t guarantee it’ll be free this time, but I’ll try! And I’ll see if I can sneak in some home made food too so we can spend more money on like, cute stuff from the merchants. I saw this plush down there, actually, and it was a  cat , so maybe –”
 No, Hizashi wasn’t a timid person – but,  still , it was probably for the best that Shouta was the first one to move. He grabbed Hizashi’s hand, urging it away from the bao so that he could hold it again. 
 He’d pulled his attention to the forefront, and his eyes to finally meet his, and he realized that Shouta had moved so much closer…
 The dark of his eyes was so close, and he was  smiling …
 “You talk a lot when you’re nervous.”
 There wasn’t a way to hide the flush, so Hizashi looked down, feeling too open. “I’m sorry…”
 He couldn’t see his eyes, but he could see his smile. “I like it, though.”
 “What about if I say I like you...  Will you still like it?”
  Please…!
 Shouta didn’t leave him any time to doubt.
 “It makes it a lot easier… for me to say I like you, too… yeah, I’d like it…”
 Hizashi’s entire body was fireworks – explosions and exclamations and that same buzzing energy that gripped him every time he thought of Shouta. He grinned, and looked up to see Shouta was just as embarrassed and flustered as he was.
 He’d normally have to look away, but he assumed he had permission now, and…
  God you’re so pretty…
 His eyes, his eyelashes, the way his eyes bend against his smile and how he’d never seen him smile like this before… 
 Hizashi abandoned the bao in his lap and pushed away the hair that framed his face, slowly, not sure if it was too much to hold his face – 
 “I’m – I’m sorry, can I?”
 Shouta nodded. “And you can kiss me too, in case you weren’t sure…”
 That was all the reason he needed.
 He’d had so many reasons, so many countless reasons he  loved him...
 He cupped his jaw, still acutely aware of the way Shouta was still holding on to his hand in the grass – 
 It was cold, that was true, but right now he was warm with nerves and excitement and  love , and he leaned in –
 His breath, so warm –
 His lips, so soft –
 And neither of them were particularly experienced or daring, so after a few seconds when he finally parted their lips just a bit, they pulled away, just enough to speak.
 “Mmm, you taste like bao,” he said, and then wished someone was there in his brain to stop whatever dumb shit was trying to get out.
 Shouta just laughed. “So do you.”
 The rest of their night was spent on that hill, kissing and talking and, eventually, finishing their food. When they finally left, Hizashi found that plush cat at the vendor near the entrance of the park and gave it to Shouta. Shouta blushed, and Hizashi glowed with comfortable warmth, glad that he can now get cute things for his boyfriend.
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👏👏👏
THIS.
This is why I ask.
A detailed response, with good taste: Ásterix, Tint in, Geronimo Stilton, GUARDS! GUARDS! (my fav)
It's like your whole life laid out before you in literature, it's amazing.
My recommendation: Continue with Discworld.
Sorry for the odd question:
Do you have a favourite book?
Normal question I think.
But difficult to answer.
RAMBLED A LOT, REALISED ANSWER IS NO. But. I can't delete the ramble.
To start with. Since I was a kid I devoted myself to hp. Went along with a few comics (Asterix, Tintin, Geronimo Stilton ✌🏾). Jk Rowling stuff made me crash and stop reading for a while. Because. I'd put a lot of eggs into that basket, and suddenly the basket made me feel incredibly bad carrying it.
Started thinking more about the reasons I want to care about books.
Always have a soft spot for magnus chase series because made me realise I'm bi. Rick Riordan books are good in general.
Love artemis fowl.
Read bunch of the fantasy books. Tried out sci-fi, classics, thrillers, mystery, wasn't too interested. Liked hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy a lot, though I didn't understand a lot then.
Hunger games, lotr, bunch of standalone books as I started to realise there are good non-fantasy books which are not a series.
Then stopped reading since lockdown started.
THEN started reading again towards end of 2021. Starting with Cosmere.
Stormlight archive is more of a favourite than other Cosmere books, because kaladin. Also extremely good mental art from that whole series. Also plenty of fanart.
Good omens.
Recently started Discworld, finished guards! Guards! yesterday. have to actively force myself to stop reading because I know i have work. BUT ITS GREAT and I'm loving it. And I'll start Earthsea at some point. So.
Yeah. Which is a lot to say that I don't have a favourite. Different books occupy different shelves in my heart because they ended up being what I needed at the right times, I think.
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